Telephone

I guess It's been a while. sorry guys. Well...What's up with me? nothing really.
I'm purposely going to fail my history final because I have given up on this semester. I already messed it up, and there's no way I can fix it now. :[ I'm not going to go to school next semester anyway. I want to take a semester off to think about what I want to do in college, and work some more to save money. I was stressed out a lot and i dreaded waking up every morning, but I'm on pills now that help a lot. I never thought I was clinically depressed. But when the doctor asked me all the questions and I responded "Yes" to almost all of them, I kinda figured something was up with me. I might have something wrong with my pancreas or gall bladder. I'm hoping the gall bladder if anything. All the pancreas problems are deadly. :[
I had my blood drawn and an ultrasound, and i'm anxiously awaiting the results. I'm so glad something id finally getting done around here...

I guess last i'll talk about how much i miss my boyfriend. I've just been really sad about it lately. It sucks. :[ I want to see him so bad. He rescued a kitty, I named her Lucca, and she's mine. :] When i get to see him next, I'm going to bring her back up with me. I can't wait. I've wanted a cat for my whole life. I'm really, really excited. I'm a little scared because of money and stuff. things that my parents have been warning me about. They don't think me having a cat is a good idea, because I already have money issues, and they say Lucca would just be another mouth to feed. :[ It kinda upsets me that they aren't supportive, but I made the argument that I have really been depressed lately. I feel like every time i get off of work, or school, I have no where to go. I have no home. Sometimes, I think of how easy it would just be to crash my car. You know that saying. "home is where the heart is"? Well i think if I had a cat, something to come home to, something to take care of besides myself, I would have meaning. I would have something more to life for. I would have some kind of home, because I would love that cat dearly, and a part of my heart will always be waiting for me after i get off work or school.

I dunno though. There's just a tiny rant about me being sad and stuff. :/ My boyfriend isn't talking to me right now, even though we're on skype together. It's really kinda pissing me off.