So, I've started many blogs...and also neglected many blogs. Hopefully this one with be pretty active.
I actually wasn't going to make this tonight...but something happened that I just have to let out.
Tonight, I was on Tumblr (This is a common thing for me...to be on Tumblr) and I came across a blog called the HairyPitsClub. I found it really interesting. There were tons of girls, and women who held their arms above their heads proudly, not ashamed of their ape-like pits. I loved it. All of them, every single one of them looked beautiful. They were so happy. And you could see the confidence in their faces. It made me smile in return.
I asked my boyfriend if he would hate it if I didn't shave my armpits (knowing that he kinda has a thing about body hair) and he said yes. He said that he would probably even eventually break up with me because he finds body hair so disgusting and unattractive.
This really, really hurt me. just the fact that something so miniscule as not shaving my armpits could possibly end our relationship...It hurts. A lot.
We were on webcam at the time, so I acted angry at first to make sure I wouldn't cry. Later on he asked me why I looked so sad, and I laughed, and told him "I didn't know because i'm not."
This just makes me hurt so much...it makes me think that our love isn't really that important to him..and that he's willing to let it end so easily...that he wouldn't even fight for me. That he would just let me go.
It also hurts because I don't care what he looks like...I don't care about his physical appearance. And he's FtM so he will be going through a BIG physical transition soon...and I don't care. I love him for him. Physical appearance has NEVER been a deciding factor in whether I "like" Or "love" someone...it just hurts that it's such a big factor for him. That his hate for body hair is stronger than his love for me.
I don't think anyone should be filled with so much hate...or maybe its just a small amount of love.
So I'm going to continue shaving...because I love him. And I never want him to leave me...I love him so much.
